I have a confession to make. Over the last several weeks, there has primarily been one thing on my mind and one thing only…my ass.
That’s right, as the world is seemingly coming to an end with fires, hurricanes and mass shootings, I’ve been thinking about my ass.
You read that right. My ass.
I’m not proud of this.
First off, I want to stress, I am not turning into a Kardashian. Okay, well, my butt sort of is, but the rest of me remains pure Tracy.
Secondly, I want to assure you that these rear-ended thoughts are not from a place of vanity or arrogance, but insecurity. For several months, I have been going to a trainer and working my ass off…only to suddenly realize the exact opposite has happened, and I’ve actually worked my ass on. (Apparently that’s a thing!)
This may not seem like an ass-tronomical problem to most, but these oblivious people just don’t realize the magnitude of the situation…no pun intended. I’m not sure of the technical term for what is happening, but basically, I’ve gained a lot of muscle over the last year and it has all settled in my ass.
My ass, people!
And apparently, whatever remained of my common sense has settled there too.
I know this all sounds ridiculous, but there is a reason behind my bottom–heavy madness. (Was that a double negative?) Let me see if I can explain it without sounding like a total…well, you know.
