Is it bad that sometimes I just wish everybody would shut the eff up?

Please excuse my slangy French, but honestly, I can’t take all the noise out there.  Everywhere I look…someone is screaming, someone is shouting, and someone is trying to tear someone down.

And this is considered the new normal.  This is our reality.

I don’t mean to sound like I’m 100 years old, but I blame social media.  And the actual media.  And politics.  And reality TV.  And the Housewives.  Oh, how I wish the Housewives would shut the eff up.  Or at least quiet the hell down.

I don’t mean to be picking on the Housewives yet again, but since that’s all they seem to do to each other, I guess I’m in good company.

I’m a little confused these days.  Aren’t we in the age of female empowerment?  Aren’t we supposed to be building each other up?  Instead, everywhere I turn, some woman is trying to destroy another, and it’s usually simply to make herself look better.

What causes this rage and instinct to attack?  Jealousy?  Insecurity?  A bad case of PMS?

Hey ladies, I thought men were supposed to be the bad guys.

I find it all to be a tad hypocritical.  At a time when women are taking a stand for equal rights and fair treatment, there also appears to be a lot more “woman bashing woman” going around.

Is it an epidemic or a defense mechanism?

Once again, I find myself asking the question…

Can’t we all just get along?

You may be wondering why I appear to be so miffed about this matter.  You’re probably asking: Who pissed in her Cheerios?

Candance Owens, that’s who.

Now you’re probably wondering, who the hell is Candance Owens?  I have no clue.  But, in this day of anonymity and infamy, she’s managed to pop up on my radar.

Every day, I see and hear things that annoy me.  And every day, I roll my eyes at said things and move on with my life.

Last night, I was scrolling through the Yahoo newsfeed, (I’m an emotional cutter), and I saw something that rubbed me the wrong way.  Actually, I saw a lot of things that troubled me.  But, embedded between the stories of mass shootings and coverage of the royal wedding, I came across a headline that read Candace Owens Seemingly Mocks Women for being Single and Childless.

I have five PET PEEVES that make me truly crazy:

  1. Idiots who don’t know the meaning of an alternate merge.
  2. Idiots who cut me off or I let in during my morning commute and they don’t give me a Thank You Wave.
  3. Bicyclists in traffic who think they own the entire road.
  4. Raw tomatoes.
  5. Women who put other women down because they are not married and/or childless.

First of all, I still clearly have some issues with driving.  But that is not the subject at hand.  Although, if I must slam on my breaks so you can cut across three lanes of traffic…you better damn well give me a Thank You Wave!  It’s a real thing, people!  And good lord, let me merge!  We’re all going in the same direction.  Not letting me in will not get you to where you’re going any faster!

As usual, I digress.

Where was I?  Oh yes, Candance Owens.  Apparently, she is an American conservative commentator and activist.  The other day she tweeted:

Interesting theory presented to me at lunch. Do you guys think something bio-chemically happens to women who don’t marry and/or have children?

Then, she tagged Sarah Silverman, Kathy Griffin and Chelsea Handler as “evidentiary support.”

WTF, Candance?  Are you implying that woman who don’t get married and don’t have children are damaged?  It certainly appears that way.

I’m not a fan of any of the comedians she tagged in her tweet.  Yet, the fact that she called out these three specific women, who disagree with her politics, and blamed the reason for their opposing views on the fact that they are not married and childless, absolutely appalled me.  And clearly hit a nerve.

Excuse me, Candance.  I don’t need a man, nor do I need a child to be awesome.

I was born awesome.

Ms. Owens was apparently surprised by the negative reaction to her tweet.  She said she was merely throwing out a topic that was discussed the other day during lunch and wanted to see if others agreed.

I’m calling bullshit on this one.  You knew exactly what you were doing, Candy.  That was a very calculated tweet, not to mention a cheap shot.  You used your words to hurt, and that’s exactly what you did.  You were ready.  You aimed.  And you fired.

These days, guns and violence are running ramped.  In my opinion, words are just as deadly.  While being shot or struct causes immediate pain; harsh words sting and then linger.

This is why I can’t stand social media.  What I used to consider a fun way to connect with old friends and see photos of special occasions, has now become a platform for bullying and ridicule.  And it’s doing some permanent damage, especially to young people who haven’t fully developed the resources to handle these online attacks.  I find it disgraceful, and I fear it will only get worse in the future.

Inside voices, people!

In fact, keep it all inside – we don’t need to hear your every thought, feeling and opinion.  And for the love of god, stop with the dinner pics.  We get it.  You’re eating.  Good for you.

Jumping back to the Real Housewives:  These ladies are notorious for single-, age-, and non-mommy- shamming their fellow cast members.  (Especially you…Real Housewives of Atlanta!)  These low blows are thrown as much as a glass of wine is poured on these shows, and it sickens me.  They use the fact that someone is over forty, not married and doesn’t have kids, against them.  And they make the point that these older, single, childless women are beneath them and defective.

I know the Real Housewives of any county are not to be taken too seriously, and they need to create drama in some fashion, otherwise, we’d just be watching episodes of privileged women getting fat sucked out of their asses and inserted back into their stretched-out faces.

Yet, if you think about it, the Housewives franchise is one of the only series on TV solely dedicated to women.  And these women treat each other like crap.  I’ve found myself muting or scanning through many episodes now, and the reunion episodes, which are basically glorified cockfights between overdressed bitches as opposed to trained game fowl, are unwatchable.  The whole thing makes me uncomfortable.  I still watch for the entertainment value, but with the volume turned waaaay down.

One of the reasons I’m so bothered by women putting other women down for not following the traditional paths of marriage and motherhood is because they don’t know the extraneous circumstances.  There are many reasons why women are not married or do not have children – other than choice.  Some women can’t find Mr. Right.  Some woman are unable to carry a child.  And yes, some merely don’t want either of these things, and that is absolutely okay.  It doesn’t make them any less of a person, nor does it mean something is wrong with them.

It amazes me how accelerated our society claims to be, yet the way of thinking for some is still completely effed up.

There is this one woman who is a total bitch to me.  She’s very critical of my every move.  She puts me down all the time and is always on my case for not being married or a mother.  I don’t want to give her real name, so let’s call her “Stacy Beatline”.

I do love Stacy.  I respect her and think she’s a good person.  But sometimes, I just can’t stand her negative attitude and wish she’d shut the eff up!

You see, the voices in my head – I mean Stacy’s head – are sometimes disapproving of the road she is on, which, by the way, she merged onto in a very courteous and cautious manner.

In all seriousness, the reason why I get so upset about other women implying that something is wrong with a woman because she hasn’t married or had babies is simply because they are confirming MY greatest fear.

Is there something wrong with me because, at my age, I have not wed or reproduced?

Deep down, I know the answer to this.  There is nothing wrong with me.  And I don’t want it to seem like I’m bashing women for having an opinion.  I’m frustrated, that’s all.  Women are preaching empowerment and telling us to embrace our choices and differences, yet, they use these very things against us at the drop of a hat and go directly for the jugular.  And it hurts.  Bad.

Hello, mixed messages.

At the end of the day, I just want some peace and quiet.  Is that too much to ask for?  And not only with all the external noise going on with the world, but internally too.

How do I block out all this damn noise and just be?

Why haven’t I married or had kids yet?  I don’t think there is a short answer to this.  I haven’t wanted to settle or have a child with someone I don’t love.  Nor have I wanted to do it alone.

Yet, while I’m not following the traditional paths, I still have dreams that are quite conventional.  Yes, even at my age.  What can I say?  I’m a hopeless romantic with a hopeful outlook for my future.

There you have it.  I’m somewhat of a contradiction.

Did I miss out on the Fairy Tale?

Maybe. 

Is there still a chance I’ll get my Forty Tale…whatever that may be?

Most definitely.

And she lived quietly, awesomely and hopefully ever after.