As the former year draws to a close and a new year begins, I am always inspired by the charitable deeds of others.

The holidays often draw attention to those that are less fortunate, and I truly admire anyone who offers support, assistance and encouragement to people in need.  In fact, I am motivated to pay this goodwill forward myself, and am making it my first order of business as we transition into 2018.

There are many organizations I try to donate either time or money to throughout the year – my favorite causes being the St. Vincent de Paul Society, my church – St. Dominic’s of Benicia, the Food Bank of Contra Costa & Solano, Tony La Russa’s Animal Rescue Foundation, and the Cancer Support Community – my efforts with these groups will continue.

However, there is a special group of women who have recently caught my attention, and I am now making it my mission in life to help them through their unfortunate circumstances.  Although these women are actually more fortunate than most, they do suffer from one of life’s harshest realities…

POOR TASTE.       

Watching the last season of the Real Housewives of Orange County was one of the most excruciating experiences of my life.  As if the ridiculous and repetitious behavior of the cast members wasn’t bad (and boring) enough, I found myself being forced to focus on their outfit choices, which were either way too young, way too tight, way too short, way too see-through or JUST PLAIN WRONG.  Seriously, each and every one of their atrocious ensembles should have a warrant out for their arrest by the Fashion Police.

Ladies, you have the right to remain silent!

Now wouldn’t that be nice…

Pretty much ALL of the Real Housewives of every state and every county fall into the “stylishly sad” category – some being worse offenders than others.  What strikes me most about the OC clan is that the majority of the women are in their fifties, yet they dress as if they’re teenagers.  And trust me, this is NOT a good look…for any of them!  There is nothing cool, trendy or fashionable about oddly-placed cutouts or a black bra under a barely-there crop top.  If anything, it’s a cry for help.  And ladies, lucky for you, I’m here to steer you back on the right path of being age-appropriate ADULTS.

Actually, it’s not even an age thing – it’s an appropriate thing.

I’ve heard people say “women should dress their age”.  But nowadays, with Botox and cosmetic surgeries and miracle creams and personal trainers and so forth, it’s hard to tell a women’s “actual” age.  After all, isn’t 60 the new 40?  And 40 the new 20?  (Although, in my case, I feel 40 is the new 80…but that’s probably just me.)

As my attention turns to “real-life” women, I see many of them suffer from the same tasteless, unstylish disease as the Housewives.  Now, I’m not trying to be a prude or elitist, and I am certainly not a ranking officer in the FPD.  Yet, I do feel that women of today can (and should) exude a lot more class and sophistication than they do – believe it or not, this can be done while still being fun, flirty and feminine.

Ladies, people will still talk about you, only their comments will be about how good you look, as opposed to whether or not you meant for both ass-cheeks to be hanging out of your shorts.  

Transitioning from youth to middle-age is tough.  It’s something I’ve been struggling with for the last few years.  I still want to be considered young and sexy, but my body and spirit have other ideas.  Like the Housewives, I too tried to continue the charade of pretending to be younger than I was.  I tried to squeeze into smaller sizes and show more skin than I should.  Yet, after dressing, I would look at myself in the mirror and the reflection staring back would say…

WTF? 

That’s when I realized I needed to do some fashionable soul-searching and figure out who this new, more mature woman was.  And that’s when I found grace…Grace Kelly, that is.  A class act all the way…this is who I decided I wanted to emulate.

And so I entered my Grace period.

I started to make some subtle changes to my wardrobe that still made me feel beautiful and chic, but didn’t make me seem like I was trying too hard.  The changeover was actually easier than I thought it would be, as who can go wrong traveling back in time to an era of uber-elegance and pretty dresses?

So here’s where my charitable contribution comes in.  To my precious Housewives, I want you to know that you can still be noticed without having your tits popping out or your hair swinging down passed your buttocks.  Below are some minor tweaks I made to my middle-aged style that have literally transformed me from an outdated Damsel in Distress to a strikingly modern day Forty Tale Princess.

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Style Secrets of the Age-Appropriate Princess

Lace It Up:  Lace is the most delicate of fabrics, but it is also one of those rare, ageless trends that can be worn both dressy and casual.  So on those days I want to look extra-fabulous, I just throw on my prettiest Ted Baker lace dress, and let the compliments pour in.

Put A Little Pep In Your Step:  Most of my favorite looks involve peplum, a short, flared, pleated strip of fabric attached at the waist, creating a hanging frill and adding a whole lot of flounce.  And let’s face it, who doesn’t want to be flouncy?  Peplum covers up what you want (and should be) hidden, while appearing super sweet and appealing.  I recently read that peplum originates from the Greek word, “tunic”, which explains why every time I add a little pep, I bring out my inner goddess!

In A Clutch:  Trying to draw attention away from your problem areas?  It’s easier to do than you think.  All you need is one, two, or twenty, magnificent clutches!  It’s hard to believe, but this tiny, handheld purse can be quite the conversation piece, without needing to say anything at all.  My personal clutches range in shape from perfume and champagne bottles, to jeweled masterpieces that shine on the darkest of days. Sometimes I line up all my Kate Spade clutches and just stare, as I know a genuine smile is always guaranteed.

Embroidery, It’s Not Just For Pillows:  It’s an old craze and a new craze, and I’m absolutely obsessed!  Embroidered jeans are all the rage right now, and I can’t get enough.  Being that my favorite “go-to” outfit is jeans and a sweater, I practically live in denim, and by sliding on a pair with a little added pizazz, my day’s style gets kicked up a notch without even trying.

Nailed It!  All you need is a good manicurist, a spectacular color and a lovely design.  Nuff said.  Shameless plug goes out to my wonderful manicurist of 18 years, Myly Nguyen, at Pretty Nails in Benicia.  She’s simply the best.

P.S., don’t be afraid of color!

Always Remember To Add A Top Coat:  A good rule for nail care, but this theory also applies to a great coat or jacket – the ultimate cover up!  When I was young and feeling a little on the heavier side, which was all the time, I remember drowning myself in oversized T-shirts or sweaters, trying to make myself appear smaller, when in reality, I was doing the exact opposite.  As I’ve aged, I’ve realized a good fix to a not-so-flattering day is layering on a fantastic, tapered coat, which automatically gives a refined slimming affect, while promoting an ultra-sophisticated look that was born in the past, but can be relevant through any decade.

Give Them The Cold Shoulder:  As a woman, I don’t see anything wrong with showing a little skin.  However, nowadays, I feel many women show too much skin, and it’s completely unnecessary.  What ever happened to leaving a little bit to the imagination?  Truthfully, I’d love to wear an outfit baring my mid-drift, but unfortunately, my midriff should not be bared.

BUT, I have found a loophole…

…and it’s completely on trend with today’s hottest styles.  Instead of baring my midriff, I bare my bare shoulders, and I couldn’t feel sexier when I do so!  Shoulders can be broad and strong, and let’s face it, what’s more appealing than a strong broad baring her uncovered shoulders?

Be A Shoe-In: Okay, a blatant Cinderella reference, but really, all a girl needs is the Right to Shoes!  The perfect pair of pumps can spice up any outfit, no matter how casual, and get you the “good” kind of attention.  I actually think the Housewives have this trend down – in a good way – but to my fellow princesses who don’t live on an extravagant budget, these days you can find a spectacular pair of shoes at any cost.  The tricky part is finding a comfortable pair…

Yet, this is the high price we pay for being a girl!   

Confidence…Don’t Leave Home Without It:  I have found that I will be half way to work and turn back for fear of leaving my flatiron on…which shuts off automatically.  However, if I leave home without confidence, which I’m known to do on several occasions, I just keep driving.  Ultimately, the key to fantastic style is not in the clothing choices we make, but how we wear them, which displays how we feel about ourselves.  It may be corny, but being true to ourselves, and just trying to truly be ourselves, is the only accessory we need.  Once we are modeling that, the rest of the ensemble will just fall into place.

And when in doubt…just channel Grace Kelly.

I guess you can say, I’m kind of a hypocrite.  While I blast the Real Housewives of Orange County for their fashion choices, I praise the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, (Tuesdays, 9pm on BRAVO), for theirs.   Don’t get me wrong, their outfits are completely over-the-top, (and some quite ridiculous – for instance Erika Jayne’s “Evil Queen” look).  Yet, how the RHBH differ from the RHOC is that they are making a statement with their fashion, and it’s not…

For the love of god, look at me!

Okay, maybe it is.  But, the Beverly Hills crew has fun with their fashion – they take pride in their looks, without being apologetic or seemingly desperate.  Sure, many of their looks are completely outlandish and outrageous, but they are also entertaining.  These are woman that take ownership of their style.  And while some ensembles are inappropriate for women their age, their confidence and creativity make them strangely appropriate.

And while I would LOVE to emanate Erika Jayne for a day…the truth is, she’s just not my style.

And she lived hopefully, gracefully and charitably ever after.