What Is Age Appropriate?

Not only is it a part of the tagline of this very blog, but it’s also a question I ask myself every day…when I’m looking in the mirror…rummaging through my closet…putting on my makeup…watching any franchise of the Real Housewives…  Lately, this subject matter always seems to be on my mind.

It has a very simple definition:

Age Appropriate:  Suitable for a particular age or age group.

But in today’s world, the translation of this “catchphrase” is lost on many, and I’m not just talking about bravolebrities.

So, what the hell is age appropriate?  And at what age do we need to start acting appropriately?

I don’t think anyone has ever labeled me as inappropriate, and I don’t consider myself to be a prude.  However, shortly after I turned forty, my view of myself and how I acted certainly changed.  They say “forty is the new twenty”…whoever they are.  But for me, I jumped ahead in years, making my forty the new seventy.  (Yes, apparently, I age in Dog Years.)

Suddenly, I covered up and stopped going out as much.  The heels on my shoes became lower, my neckline became higher, my shirts became baggier, and my social life became as exciting to as the last season of The Bachelorette.  (Yawn!)  Of course, my significant weight gain, massive stress and bout of depression may have played a role.  But, like with everything in my life…

I blame turning forty.

In retrospect, it probably wasn’t so much turning forty, as it was a midlife crisis.

It took me a while to figure out that this crisis was, indeed, what I had been experiencing.  However, once I read the definition, it become clear.

Midlife Crisis:  An emotional crisis of identity and self-confidence that can occur in early middle age.

Everyone handles middle-age differently.  Some mature, while others revert back to their youth.  And in the era of reality TV, this very post-adolescent behavior is on display 24/7.

Regardless of how midlife is handled, it does appear that as a rite of passage, we are all sent on a journey in search of the infamous Fountain of Youth.  While this voyage of soul-searching is often enlightening, some get so lost in the bewitching waters of the fountain, that the assistance of a search party is often recruited.

While many view the Fountain of Youth as a symbol for rebirth and renewal, others take it far more literally, looking for superficial “quick-fixes” to transport them back in time.  Unfortunately, these “fixes” are merely temporary solutions with often questionable results.

The Housewives are perfect examples of those on the serious quest for anti-aging remedies.  Rarely is there an episode that you don’t see a cast member having some sort of cosmetic procedure, whether it be in the form of a breast augmentation, Botox injections, butt implants, face lift, nose job, liposuction…even vaginal rejuvenation!  (Really BRAVO?  Must we see everything???)

It appears the Housewives are desperately trying to become living Barbie dolls.  Yet, Barbie is a fashionable figure that never ages; the Housewives are merely human beings trying to prolong the inevitable.  And while plastic, inflexible, static perfection is a good look for Babs…it’s not such a great look for our (questionably) real Housewives.

I don’t mean to constantly pick on these reality starlets, but they are textbook examples of what it means to try too hard.  Now, some things they get right.  Most of them exercise and eat well, (if they even eat at all).  However, what these artificial beauties don’t realize is that while having egg whites for breakfast and a salad for lunch is admirable, the Xanax smoothie and bottle of wine they guzzle for dinner is a tad counterproductive.

I do believe that anyone can look amazing at any age.  But again, trying too hard does not only apply to the body, but also how one acts and dresses.  In my eyes, dressing and acting too young is a major fashion faux-pas.  There is a point when trendy can become tacky when not worn genuinely.  Sexiness is not defined as racy outfits with boobs, legs and who-ha’s on display for all to see.  Sexiness is a state of mind…just like being middle-aged.

Which brings me back to my original question…

What is age appropriate?    

When I turned forty, I pretty much gave up on myself.  My life was over – I was no longer vibrant, cute, attractive Tracy.  But it wasn’t because of my accelerated age, weight gain or invading gray hairs.  (Although, I truly believed it was.)  It also wasn’t because I failed to use mind-over-matter to overcome these ridiculous shortcomings.  It was because, in my mind, I no longer mattered.

My relevancy had vanished as quickly as I blew out the candles on my fortieth birthday cake.  Gone was my beauty, my youthfulness, my style…my smile.  Also missing – my common sense.

Thankfully, as I (eventually) began to plot my escape from crisis mode and boarded my next adventure, Operation Rescue Me, I realized that getting older wasn’t the enemy – I was.  And aging appropriately was what I made of it.  And to achieve this stature…I really didn’t need to try hard at all.

To me, being confident in myself – looks, mind, body and spirit – is what it means to be age appropriate.  Perhaps the answer I’ve been searching for my entire adult life.

At forty-(plus), I do find myself dressing more conservatively, applying more facial creams, buying more cellulite serums, cutting my hair shorter, and exercising longer.  Yet, I also find myself laughing more, enjoying and investing in life with family and friends, and being more proactive in making my dreams happen, rather than succumbing to the belief that I had outgrown them.

After traveling down the twisted road to self-discovery and dipping my feet into the Fountain of Youth, I have come to the conclusion that rather than aging appropriately, I prefer to age gracefully.  And graciously.  And elegantly.  And beautifully.  And happily.

And as always, I will continue to live…

Hopefully Ever After.