Is anyone else sick of seeing Kim Kardashian’s ass splashed all over social media?  I, for one, am.  I’m also tired of seeing any Kardashian at the gym.  Or at the beach.  Or at the supermarket.  Or in the bathroom.  Do we really need to see pics of them in the bathroom?  Well, thanks to the almighty power of the selfie, we have the pleasure of seeing this self-obsessed clan’s every move…or should I say, every pose.

While the Kardashian’s are the worst offenders of the egocentric selfie, they certainly aren’t the only culprits.  Celebrities love posting photos of themselves, and I’m pretty sure it’s a requirement in every reality stars’ contract to document every moment of their fake life with a selfie, as well as every outfit, and every meal, and every cocktail, and every step.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not opposed to selfies – they are a cool way to snap a picture of yourself enjoying a fun experience or a new and exotic place.  And, if I didn’t look like a crazy one-eye-bigger-than-the-other, double chinned monster in my own selfies, I’d probably take more of them.

Yet, on the flip side, I think selfies can also be an attribute of narcissistic behavior, as many who take them use them as a selfish way to seek attention – the wrong kind of attention.  This can be damaging to both themselves and others, as they may intensify insecurities about body image or lead to feelings of sadness or anxiety for not having the “perfect” life.  Because we all know that really and truly does exist. 😉

However, even though a picture is worth a thousand words, it doesn’t necessary tell the whole story – what’s going on behind the picture.  (Although, in a selfie, you can pretty much see everything going on in the background…but you know what I mean.)

Take the Real Housewives.  They are notorious for posting photos of themselves, and only themselves.  In bathing suits.  In underwear.  In nothing at all.  I get it.  You’ve had six kids and you can still rock a bikini.  You’re over fifty and your boobs are above sea level.  I’m forty-three and bruise easily…you don’t see me plastering that all over Facebook.

Look, in this day and age, you’ve got to promote yourself to stay relevant.  And I admit, self-promotion is not one of my strong suits.  But, how much is too much?  And when do all of these attention-grabbing actions become just a little sad?

Then again, I don’t think a large part of society thinks it’s sad at all.  In fact, the majority encourages this self-serving behavior.  Celebrities like Kim K, Beyoncé, Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande and many more have (or nearly have) over one-hundred million followers on Instagram.  I have 149 – mainly family members who probably all follow me because the bulk of my 14 posts are baseball-themed and, more importantly, because I’m  completely clothed, from head to toe…literally.

Let’s face it, when it comes down to it, life is just one big popularity contest, and despite age and status, some of us will never stop seeking this highly regarded, yet often disingenuous, acceptance.

Personally, I’ve never been a part of the popular crowd.  I wasn’t popular in high school, or college.  I was never considered one of the “cool girls” or part of a trendy clique.  In my younger days and into early adulthood, I did want to be popular, and I certainly put in the effort, ultimately to no avail.  But, now that I’m older, I’ve stopped trying so hard.  Actually, I’ve stopped trying altogether.  I really don’t care what group I’m classified in, or what people think of me.  As long as I’m surrounded by people I love, and people who love me, I’m okay.

I don’t need to be popular.  I just need to be everybody’s favorite.

But that’s different, right?

I know there are people out there that do need constant attention, and constant praise.  And they will continue to do so by sharing constant selfies.  For those people, may I offer this bit of advice:

Selfie Etiquette 101   

  1. Limit your selfies to special occasions ONLY. If you must post more frequently, try once a week, as opposed to once every hour.  Trust me, there is too much of a good thing.  I’m talking to you Mrs. Kardashian.
  2. If you feel the need to Photoshop your selfies, which many celebrities do, then it’s technically not a selfie. It’s a retouched photograph.  It’s a retouchie.  That’s not a thing.  Let’s not make it one.
  3. Not every side is your good side. Not every ass cheek is a good ass cheek.  Proceed with caution and consider your audiences’ potential gag reflex.  We don’t need to see everything.  In fact, a little mystery is a good thing.  And a lot of mystery goes a long way.
  4. Keep your selfies classy and appropriate. Not every occasion or setting is suitable for a selfie.  Weddings, yes.  Baby showers, yes.  Hawaiian getaways, yes.  Funerals, NO!  Vietnam Veteran’s Memorial, HELL NO!  Holocaust Museum, COME ON!  I’m baffled I even have to mention this one…yet then again, I’m not.
  5. Be careful where you are taking your selfies. Hills, mountain tops, canyons, freeway overpasses, mafia parties…always watch your back.  The tiny camera you are holding up against your face can help with this.
  6. The best selfies are those that include puppies. In fact, all selfies should include puppies.  PERIOD.
  7. Keep the intimate shots to yourself. For the love of god…PLEASE keep the intimate shots to yourself.  They are intimate for a reason.  No one needs to see these.  Bedroom selfies.  Lingerie selfies.  Naked selfies.  How about no selfies?  Whatever happen to modesty?  And doesn’t the word “intimate” technically translate to the words “private” and “personal”?  Is anything private and personal anymore???
  8. Finally, don’t take yourself too seriously, because believe me, nobody else does.

And with that, I will end this post with a crazy, one-eye-bigger-than-the-other, double-chinned monster selfie of me and this adorable French Bulldog puppy.  The best kind of selfie.  PERIOD.