Have you ever noticed that all the female characters in fairy tales that appear to be over forty are either evil or dead?

Think about it.  Snow White’s stepmom, the Evil Queen – over forty and well, evil.  Cinderella’s step mom, Lady Tremaine – over forty and really, really mean, and really, really jealous.  She replaces Cinderella’s biological mom – over forty and DEAD.  Belle’s biological mom – over forty and DEAD.  Maleficent, the villain from Sleeping Beauty – over forty and nicknamed the “Mistress of All Evil”.  Ursula, Ariel’s nemesis from the The Little Mermaid – over forty and a narcissistic bitch.  And don’t even get me started on Rapunzel’s “kidnapper”, Dame Gothel…clearly over forty with issues…lots of them.

And the list goes on and on.

So why is this?  I have a couple of theories.

First of all, the originating fairy tales were written by men.  Or should I say chauvinistic pigs who showcase young (barely legal) beauties as the heroines, and mature (way legal) women as unattractive, bitter, resentful monsters.

To break that down even more, all our famous fairy tale princesses are innocent, overly gorgeous, incredibly skinny, perfect young ladies being bullied by overweight, ugly, jealous, miserably flawed older women.

Really?  Is this the message we want to send impressionable girls?  Or for that matter, aging women?  If you’re beyond a certain age and either single, childless or not where you want to be in life, you turn into a wicked lunatic?

Taking a closer look, these female villains probably weren’t evil at all, but perhaps misunderstood.   Yet, those chauvinistic pig writers exaggerated these women’s imperfections in a manner that was WAY over the top.

For instance, the Evil Queen was probably unaware of the bad batch of poisonous apples in her garden.  It happens.  And if you’re first name is “Evil”, how can you escape the stereotype?

And Lady Tremaine just wanted what was best for her own daughters.  She felt they deserved their own happy endings.  Since her girls were not the most attractive ladies in the Kingdom, with extremely unpleasant personalities, my guess is they were over forty and mom just felt it was time to get them out of the house.

And can we really blame Maleficent for being upset about not getting an invite to Aurora’s christening?  It sucks to be left out!

And Ursula was just trying to advance her career.  Like politics in present day, she probably felt it was time to have a female rule Atlantica.  But sadly, even under the sea it’s a man’s world.

And Dame Gothel…well, she truly was a sociopathic, evil witch-bitch with baby issues.  I’m not saying all older woman are good.

I do admit, as I’ve entered my forties, I have seen many changes to my mind, body, and spirit, and they haven’t all been pleasant. Being unmarried and childless, my heart does sink a bit when I hear someone is getting married or having a baby.  Don’t get me wrong, I wish them all the happiness in the world, but I do admit to feeling a twinge of jealousy, only because these are things I want for myself.

I also have a little more weight to carry around these days, accompanied by more cellulite and winkles.  While I’m trying hard to battle the bulge, I’m starting to accept I’m probably never again going to be the size 2 I was in my thirties.  I guess when it comes down to it, the only real issue here is that I need to buy more pretty dresses in a larger size.  I can live with that.

My spirit has taken a hit these last few years as well.  I seemed to turn into a different person for a while, not funny and happy, but depressed and a little bitter.  I dwelled so much on the negative and became resentful of all the things I didn’t have while losing sight of all the wonderful things I did have…and still do have.

Luckily, as I ease further into my forties, I’m coming out of this “villainous” fog and starting to turn back into my own heroine-self.  Not young and perfect, but flawed and accepting.  And most important, I’m starting to get my “happy” back.  What the fairy tales don’t tell you is that good things do still come with age and time – you just need to be patient and look past the bullshit.  Or should I say fairy-shit.

There is one “mature” female character in the fairy tales that does break the mold, and that is Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother.  She’s wise and sweet and supportive, only wanting to assist a younger woman with the fulfillment of her dreams.  She’s older, but not portrayed as psycho or manipulative, or dangerous or even angry.  She’s caring and magical…and probably menopausal.  She is how all females in the fairy tales should be portrayed…at any age.

But, I guess for that to happen, we’re going to have to write a whole new set of fairy tales with a bit more female perspective…or possibly Forty Tales.  I think within the Forty Tale, the female characters would probably be their own worse villains, but in the end…they’d realize that they are their own Fairy Godmothers as well.